Meet the Characters

Mr Custa

  • Species: Humanoid
  • Age: Roughly about 32-ish. Although at one point, he does claim to have lived for five billion years. But we can assume that’s a joke, right?
  • Home Planet: Tharnog. Not much is known about Tharnog except that the sky is a lurid shade of pink.
  • Occupation: Rock Star. Well, Mr. Custa certainly thinks he’s brilliant anyway. Even if he mistakes a ukulele for an electric guitar.
  • Favourite Catchphrase: “So Much Pain…”


  • Species: Lizard-girl
  • Age: 21-ish. Or she might be older, but she still likes to act young and cutesy anyway. Maybe because she’s a terrible flirt.
  • Home Planet: Tekken. A jungle planet. Where they play video games, we can assume.
  • Occupation: Savage/Wannabe IT girl (well, she’s half-way there. When out on the town people point at her and shout “Its a girl!”).
  • Favourite Catchphrase: Screaming. Lots of screaming.


  • Species: Rhino-man
  • Age: Unknown. Its hard to tell when rhinos have such thick skin.
  • Home Planet: Brum (Yes, the planet was modelled on Birmingham and is the second largest planet in its galaxy, second only to planet London)
  • Occupation: Space Pilot/Coward (Apparently Brok was at one point able to pilot spaceships. Although he’d forgotten that, or was just too lazy to pilot one when they went to Mars.)
  • Favourite Catchphrase: “Owt.”


  • Species: Fly. (a talking one!)
  • Age: 1,000,072 in fly years
  • Home Planet: Unknown. Possibly Earth. Was he once just an ordinary fly, genetically modified in a lab in Hinckley? Who knows, really?
  • Occupation: A pain.
  • Favourite Catchphrase: Not one for catchphrases, but god almighty, doesn’t he tell such awful jokes…